I am going to share something personal with you this week, I have a hard time trusting men … well people in general really. I am a naturally shy person and until I get to know someone (or in the case of my best friend this was pretty much instant), when I was younger I rarely spoke to anyone, shocking now as I am much more open to talking to people.
I was a late bloomer, I was never the prettiest in high school and I didn’t really think about it all that much until I went to Sixth Form, when I realised that I needed to accept myself. I had my first proper boyfriend at University and that was where it all went to pot. I am not going to go into detail but it involved an ex and a baby and him telling everyone else he was a dad but me. It wasn’t the fact that he had a child it was the fact that he chose not to tell me, I had to find out from a friend and Facebook. He didn’t trust me enough to tell me about it in person and when I confronted him about it he had no excuse, he didn’t even try. I am not even 100% sure that they had even broken up when we were together. That being said the first time I gave my heart and trust to someone that trust was broken. I am a naturally cautious person but it was hard to have the trust between you and someone broken that way.
I picked myself up and lost some weight and accepted myself the way I am and tried to move on, I have had a couple of relationships between now and then some better than others, my last boyfriend made my life so hard for months after we broke up texting me and calling me before it finally got sorted. I have I am happy to say moved on from him but he decided recently to tell me that he cheated on me. Him telling me now both angers and saddens me, I have no idea why he thought it would be a good idea to tell me almost a year and a half later but it did.
My point however is that as much as it is hard to move on from the horrible moments in your life it is. It is hard and you will doubt yourself and you will have those moments where you question what you are doing and where you are going and the decsions you make. The thing is that moment is just one point in your life that is there to make you a stronger and better person. It has happened for a reason and you may not know what yet but you can learn from these decisions and better yourself.